Heidi Lam - 26th Feb 2010

I started my maternity leave early in anticipation for my birth. And it is a good thing I started early because I can't sleep at night at all during the last week of my pregnancy! With all the activities going on in my body, I simply can't sleep at night until 2am or 3am and then I will sleep over in the day and wake up only at 12pm.

On 25th Feb, I was experiencing menstrual cramp like feeling throughout the night. I tried to sleep through it not knowing that it is the real thing! But the contractions can make me break out in cold sweat. I endured it all since I will be having my weekly check up on the very next day.

So on 26th Feb, I told Dr Tan that I had cramps in the night...she checked my cervix, no dilation yet. And then ordered me to be strapped to CTG and she ordered them to send down the result to her. It all happened so fast! I was even making plans to go to Somerset 313 after the check-up.

After that everything was in a haste. I was strapped to CTG, result sent to Dr Tan, I was sent to Xray department to take an X-ray of my pelvic, I go back to being strapped to CTG, a nurse came in and asked me questions and stuffs, asked my husband to do admission for me, Dr Tan came with another nurse, they put me on drip and burst my waterbag and the I was strapped back to the CTG again.

The contractions intensify and I was breaking out in cold sweat. Kelvin was even describing the level of contractions to me. WAH LIAO!!! I told him to shut it and I tried to make myself comfortable by playing with the bed's level. Up, down, up, down...when I decided I have enough, I asked the nurse for pain relief! Epidural? NO! Give me laughing gas!

I sniff and sniff...bo la sah leh...then contractions got worse! Dr Tan popped in at this moment. I asked her how long do I have to wait, she said maybe I will have to wait all the way till midnight! (that time was about 6pm already. I've endured 2 hrs plus of contractions) So I told her I want epidural liao! She said ok but she will check me one more time. She checked...AMAZINGLY, I am already dilating to 8cm!

"Call off the epidural! Push her to the delivery ward!"

Praise GOD! I did it without epidural because He love me so much that He intervened and gave me quick dilation. I nearly wanted to give up when He so gently reminded me that I am in Delivery Ward 7. His special ward for me. His omnipresence is right there with me!

That empowered me and I hold it all in until I am allowed to push...

Weighing 2.963kg, standing 51cm tall...
Introducing my darling, Heidi Lam...

After 4 hrs of labour, she came out so fair and clean and white...she has big eyes, high nose, perfect! She's perfect to me in every way! Later on we even discovered she has dimples!

Even my gynae, Dr Tan mentioned to me when she pops by to check on me when I was resting... "Did you see her dimples?"

26th Feb - labour and stay
27th Feb - stay with visits from families and friends
28th Feb - discharge, bring baby home

Heidi with baby acne

It is interesting how Heidi's blood type is different from mine or Kelvin. I am B+, Kelvin is AB+, and Heidi is A+. So her pediatrician is concerned that Heidi will have jaundice. So we return to TMC on the 3rd day after discharge.

At the same time, the poisonous world is already starting to affect her delicate skin. I really want to cry when I think of how fair and delicate her skin was minutes after she was born. The acne started as soon as the day we discharge. Haiz...

Luckily, Heidi only has mild jaundice and we only need to tan her in the morning sun. Pediatrician also gave us ointment for her baby acne.

Cream works and she is back to her swee swee look...

But the battle with the baby acne continues...they pops when she is too hot. Have to keep her cool all the time. I am quite dismayed that she takes after her father in this...scare of heat.

Mysterious red dot on her forehead. Nothing to do with baby acne.
Suspected culprit 1: Mosquito
Suspected culprit 2: Myself
(she probably piak her forehead on my shirt when I am burping her across shoulder)

I was teary and all emotional during my first few days of motherhood. I teared when I think of how I didn't latch Heidi on for successful breastfeeding. I teared when I see acne on her skin. I teared when she cries for milk cos she's hungry. I teared when I think of poor Kelvin in this together with me. I teared for my loss of freedom and sleep.

The breastfeeding part was what affected me most but I've seen things in a better light now. My motto is to give Heidi as much breast milk as I can pump out. Formula + expressed breast milk is ok. I am not going to be obsessed about my failure to latch (though it costed me $70+ at the Lactation Consultant before I finally 死心)

What I could have done better for successful latching:
1) Have baby latch as soon as she was born
2) KEEP BUGGING THE NURSES to help me latch during my hospital stay
3) If the nurse ask if you will like to supplement with formula or glucose water, say NO!
4) Keep latching until success during hospital stay

I made the mistake of allowing them to give Heidi glucose water. She was too full to latch when they pushed her to me. And the nurses were too busy to help me latch. I was too ignorant to keep bugging them. Now that the routine for latching wasn't set up, I am not prepared to set it up either. Not eager to change either. The lactation consultant actually suggested that I latch Heidi on, then pump out the rest of the milk and then spoonfeed her and wean her off bottles! Then when I have to go back to work 2 months later, wean her off my boobs and bottle feed her back.

@$@$!@$5*$^*9....

I told her forget it. I will continue what I am doing now. Thank you very much.

At least now I can toss her to my MIL and just take a nap. Heidi is getting a good mixture of breastmilk and formula milk. Whatever is so hyped up about breastmilk, she ain't deprived either. So I see things open already and plus...New Creation Church actually assigned a praying support for me. I felt soooooooooooooooooo much better after my support prayed for me. And also the visit to the lactation consultant assured me that I am doing things right. Now I will just leave it to God to see how long my milk supply last. :D

Maybe I will fare better with #2?