
Monday, January 20, 2014
10 Powerful Prayers to Help You Fight for the Heart of Your Daughter

Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Some Me time
Call me greedy. Indeed I am! Why shouldn't I be greedy? When I have a Father who is all ready to give and bless! Anytime babe! Just come asking!
Prayer nia...are like soothing balm to my battered soul. The daily issues at work are wearing me down but I am remembering...Let not your heart be troubled....it felt good to have a shield at work now. And I know I have the ultimate shield in Christ.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Dramatic Monday
During the last few days of her recovery, she was throwing up large amount of phlegm which we will dance with joy and praise her for.
Imagine my dismay when my niece (aka 3 the terrible) came to our house on monday morning, coughing her little lungs out. I spoke to my MIL and she promised she will keep the gals apart...they even shifted 3 from her usual spot in the living room to their bedroom...but the next thing I know is...my MIL carried Heidi into their bedroom where 3 was coughing away.
I went berserk and rushed into their room and took Heidi out! I can't believe that for all their theories and knowledge, they didn't know that virus and bacterias can spread via air!? How about the running nose Heidi caught from 3 when she was 2 months old? Or how about the cough that Heidi caught from 3 at 3 months old that got Heidi coughing all the way to 4 months old??? I can't take it!!! My little baby so small...took so much medication in that tiny body???
And in all my integrity, I've never blamed 3 nor my ILs for the bugs that Heidi caught. In fact, on the contrary, I was blamed for spreading my cough to Heidi. (3 caught it first, then Heidi caught it, then I caught it and Heidi's cough got worse)...fine...I was blamed for Heidi not sleeping well. I was blamed cos Heidi loves to be cuddled. HELLO! She can't breath properly when her nose was blocked! She can't sit up on her own. She was scared and frightened each time we forced medication on her. Each time the nebuliser was on. But I was blamed for all. FINE! Add one more crime to my scene for feeding Heidi my contaminated breastmilk! The mother get all the blame! Fine fine fine..I kept quiet. But this time...I can't take it. I threatened to take urgent leave from work until I remembered that I really have to go work.
I went berserk. I said I spent over $200 to get my daughter well. Its not about the money but its all the medications my gal has to take. I haven't sleep well for the past few weeks listening to my gal cough in the middle of her sleep broke my heart each time...viruses transmit via air...etc etc etc...
My in-laws promised they will keep the 2 gals apart and they assured me they will make sure Heidi don't get the bug from 3. Isn't this what they should have done in the first place? I was really pissed and I really want to put Heidi in infantcare. After all, what difference is there when she is with 3? And also I wouldn't bother my in-laws so they can stop pointing fingers at me!
I can't stand my SIL! It's not her problem that her child is sick and can't go to childcare. She will dump 3 over all the same. EVERYDAY without fail! I am sure she will flip doubly if the situation were reversed. Her child is younger than mine. And poor Heidi has to jump in fright each time 3 screamed suddenly! My poor baby... T-T
My only consolation is that God is the lifter of my head and He never let Heidi out of His sight. He gave His angels charge over little Heidi and they lift her up lest she dash her dainty feet against the stones. My Abba love His baby Heidi and me and Kelvin! AMEN!
We are more than conquerors in Christ! Jesus assured me that His grace is sufficient for me. Amen amen amen!
Wednesday, July 07, 2010
H for Heidi

and H is for HAPPY~
My darling is such a chirpy and happy gal that one can't help not playing with her. The above series of photos were taken when she was lying chin down on my tummy and I lifted her face up with my knuckles. Lifted up and down...up and down...and she was actually giggling...
I tried to video her laughing but she got camera conscious and didn't lol. Or maybe the moments were lost and she was starting to get bored...hmm...either way...
I've also taken to seating her on my knees and roll my spine against the bed, singing the see-saw song...its good work-out for the abs too. She enjoys her see-saw time too.
I sung 'Old MacDonald has a farm' to her and she only laughs at the cow moo moo and duck quack quack...she's not impressed by my impersonation of the sheeps nor dog nor cat...oh yeah! she's amused by the horse neigh neigh too...
My funny gal. So much character for a nearly 5 months old...she has all 4 of her grandparents twirling around her little pinkies! And I think I better shave off her eyebrows so that she wouldn't want everything she see (old wives tales) I AM JUST JOKING! God says...Have nothing to do with godless myths and old wives tales...AMEN! I am trying hard not to be superstitious...though my chinese roots runs deep. Still loves a good horror story now and then...although I totally rejected horror films now. I have to stop scaring myself because I can't sleep when on tours. The only time I slept well was after downing a bottle of ice wine in Batam...sheesh...
2 Timothy 1:7
King James Bible
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
I am also happy to announce that my gal is getting better. Praise God...I will endeavor to bath her daily in PRAYERS and submitting her health, growth, glow, joy, peace and laughter to God~
Thank you, Abba for my happy Heidi baby~
indeed You gift us with the best present ever~
Your loving kindness and tender mercies endures forever~
AMEN!
Friday, April 16, 2010
Am I Unhappy?
"Why? What did you think I am unhappy with?"
He nodded towards Heidi. I was shocked. No doubt I have quite a bit of whining and complaining to anyone who will care to listen...the fact is that I wanted this baby! I love her the moment she was forming in my tummy. I love her then I love her even more day by day... BUT...unlike pregnancy, I don't have 9 months time to get used to the idea of having a baby. The moment she's out, life changes!
It didn't help that I didn't manage to latch her on. It didn't help when she gets colicky with reflux. It didn't help when I couldn't understand her cries. It didn't help when I am watching the clock, anticipating her next action ALL THE TIME. No one can understand the tension I put myself through. Yep! I've just came to acknowledge the fact that all these tensions are self-imposed! But that didn't relax me either. My only consolation is on fridays when Heidi turns yet another week old. I can't stand to see her in pain from all the digestive problems...praise God those problems aren't that bad actually and we have products like RidWind that will help ease her tummy with no side effects.
I also appreciate tips on parenting from other mommies on the SGmotherhood forum and books from Tracy Hogg - The Baby Whisperer. I am sorry I didn't spend enough time reading up on parenting but praise God again for guiding me through Heidi's schedule and bestowing upon me the wisdom of being flexible and timing her feeds. And also taking note when to increase her feeds and etc...
No one warned me that parenting is not easy. I thought it is easy. I thought babies just sleep and eat and eat and sleep...well...I have to think again...
Jesus guide me through with this verse:
2 Cor 12:9
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Oh, How I love Jesus
There is a Name I love to hear,
I love to sing its worth;
It sounds like music in my ear,
The sweetest Name on earth.
Refrain
O how I love Jesus,
O how I love Jesus,
O how I love Jesus,
Because He first loved me!
It tells me of a Savior’s love,
Who died to set me free;
It tells me of His precious blood,
The sinner’s perfect plea.
Refrain
It tells me of a Father’s smile
Beaming upon His child;
It cheers me through this little while,
Through desert, waste, and wild.
Refrain
It tells me what my Father hath
In store for every day,
And though I tread a darksome path,
Yields sunshine all the way.
Refrain
It tells of One whose loving heart
Can feel my deepest woe;
Who in each sorrow bears
A part that none can bear below.
Refrain
It bids my trembling heart rejoice.
It dries each rising tear.
It tells me, in a “still small voice,”
To trust and never fear.
Refrain
Jesus, the Name I love so well,
The Name I love to hear:
No saint on earth its worth can tell,
No heart conceive how dear.
Refrain
This Name shall shed its fragrance still
Along this thorny road,
Shall sweetly smooth the rugged hill
That leads me up to God.
Refrain
And there with all the blood-bought throng,
From sin and sorrow free,
I’ll sing the new eternal song
Of Jesus’ love for me.
Refrain
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
No signs of popping yet...

Nope, Apple haven't pop. The only signs I am getting is some braxton hicks aka tightening of bump and slight menstrual pain here and there. Usually happen when I am asleep at night and I will go to toilet and murmur my prayer (contradicting my half-felt desire that Apple be out earlier) I decided I don't want her out earlier. I want her to stay in the oven for full 40 weeks term.
I am fighting fears that Apple is too big to be born naturally and etc etc...but then then then...I remembered God's words! That He will perfect that which concerns us! Yes! Perfect that and give us a smooth, uncomplicated and supernatural delivery. The way childbirth should be. No epidural, no anesthetic of any kind, no complication, no pain!!!
If Apple need to lose a 0.4kg or so, God will let her lose them! If I need to stretch more than normal, God will let me stretch painlessly!!!
Surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed Him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement for our peace was upon Him, and by His stripes we are healed.
Isaiah 53:4–5
Then your light shall break forth like the morning, your healing shall spring forth speedily, and your righteousness shall go before you; the glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard.
Isaiah 58:8
Heal me, O Lord, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved, for You are my praise.
Jeremiah 17:14
Thursday, January 21, 2010
I need reminder!!!
But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."
Hebrews 13:5-6 (New International Version)
5Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said,
"Never will I leave you;
never will I forsake you."
6So we say with confidence,
"The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.
What can man do to me?"You know the meaning of never? It means NEVER! God says He will never leave you! He will never leave me! He will never forsake you! He will never forsake me!
Friday, January 08, 2010
This morning...
She actually understood and lightened up on her movements. But still squirming around because we are hungry (not forgetting to mention the racket outside our room - kicked up by a 2 the terrible...who's soon to have no excuse as she will be 3 in March). So I got up, washed up and have breakfast...then proceed to digitise all the Praise Baby albums into iTunes.
I have to admit that I didn't check the contents carefully and I was pleasantly surprised to find some of my all-time favourite worship songs.
Light of the world, You step down into darkness.
Opened my eyes let me see.
Beauty that made this heart adore you hope of a life spent with you.
[Chorus]
And here I am to worship,
Here I am to bow down,
Here I am to say that you're my God,
You're altogether lovely,
Altogether worthy,
Altogether wonderful to me.
King of all days,
Oh so highly exalted Glorious in heaven above.
Humbly you came to the earth you created.
All for love's sake became poor.
[Chorus]
Here I am to worship,
Here I am to bow down,
Here I am to say that you're my God,
You're altogether lovely,
Altogether worthy,
Altogether wonderful to me.
I'll never know how much it cost to see my sin upon that cross.
I'll never know how much it cost to see my sin upon that cross.
And I'll never know how much it cost to see my sin upon that cross.
No I'll never know how much it cost to se my sin upon that cross.
[Chorus]
Here I am to worship,
Here I am to bow down,
Here I am to say that you're my God,
You're altogether lovely,
Altogether worthy,
Altogether wonderful to me.
So Here I am to worship,
Here I am to bow down,
Here I am to say that you're my God,
Sunday, January 03, 2010
Wrong believing...
My pastors will ask...is that verse from the bible? Did God say that? What did God actually say?
And these are what God says...
Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
John 14:27
These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”
John 16:33
He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
Psalm 91:1
I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress; my God, in Him I will trust.” Surely He shall deliver you from the snare of the fowler and from the perilous pestilence. He shall cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you shall take refuge; His truth shall be your shield and buckler.
Psalm 91:2–4
You shall not be afraid of the terror by night, nor of the arrow that flies by day, nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness, nor of the destruction that lays waste at noonday. A thousand may fall at your side, and ten thousand at your right hand; but it shall not come near you. Only with your eyes shall you look, and see the reward of the wicked.
Psalm 91:5–8
“Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him; I will set him on high, because he has known My name. He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him and honour him. With long life I will satisfy him, and show him My salvation.”
Psalm 91:14–16
The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are safe.
Proverbs 18:10
You are my hiding place; You shall preserve me from trouble; You shall surround me with songs of deliverance.
Psalm 32:7
How precious is Your lovingkindness, O God! Therefore the children of men put their trust under the shadow of Your wings.
Psalm 36:7
The fear of man brings a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord shall be safe.
Proverbs 29:25
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.
2 Timothy 1:7
… For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” So we may boldly say: “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me?”
Hebrews 13:5–6
I will both lie down in peace, and sleep; for You alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.
Psalm 4:8
As for God, His way is perfect; the word of the Lord is proven; He is a shield to all who trust in Him.
Psalm 18:30
You shall hide them in the secret place of Your presence from the plots of man; You shall keep them secretly in a pavilion from the strife of tongues.
Psalm 31:20
But let all those rejoice who put their trust in You; let them ever shout for joy, because You defend them; let those also who love Your name be joyful in You.
Psalm 5:11
The Lord will preserve him and keep him alive, and he will be blessed on the earth; You will not deliver him to the will of his enemies.
Psalm 41:2
Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me! For my soul trusts in You; and in the shadow of Your wings I will make my refuge, until these calamities have passed by.
Psalm 57:1
Then the trees of the field shall yield their fruit, and the earth shall yield her increase. They shall be safe in their land; and they shall know that I am the Lord, when I have broken the bands of their yoke and delivered them from the hand of those who enslaved them.
Ezekiel 34:27
He has delivered us from the power of darkness and conveyed us into the kingdom of the Son of His love, in whom we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins.
Colossians 1:13–14
Our Father have been misquoted once too many times. Don't believe everything that other believers say to you. Go back to the bible and check out what our Father really says and is still saying. Ask Him to reveal to you His purpose and will for you. For our Father does not change like shifting shadows.
James 1:17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.
Don't stay ignorant. Stay in His light. Read your bible.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Lightening up...
My mom bought me some too...so I have enough to last me till Apple decide to pop. It is super irritating to me that my cousin hoped Apple pops on the same bday as her. IRRITATING! And I would have pinch her if she had lingered long enough in my presence...or if I had remembered to make her scream in pain...
I am praying that Apple will stay in me for a full 40 weeks. Full term...that I wouldn't be affected by worldly factors to induce her or urge her to come out faster. That she will be in the right and perfect anterior position, I am preparing myself mentally and spiritually for a wonderful supernatural childbirth experience. Psyching myself up and learning as much as I can about what goes on in the labour ward...listening to fellow christian sisters' experience helps too. Focus on the good and wonderful results of mothers around me are crucial. And I have to learn to filter and block out worldly talks. Stay in Christ, clutch tightly to Him, knowing fully that He will never let go...
Psalm 138
A Psalm of David.
Before the gods I will sing praises to You.
2 I will worship toward Your holy temple,
And praise Your name
For Your lovingkindness and Your truth;
For You have magnified Your word above all Your name.
3 In the day when I cried out, You answered me,
And made me bold with strength in my soul.
4 All the kings of the earth shall praise You, O LORD,
When they hear the words of Your mouth.
5 Yes, they shall sing of the ways of the LORD,
For great is the glory of the LORD.
6 Though the LORD is on high,
Yet He regards the lowly;
But the proud He knows from afar.
7 Though I walk in the midst of trouble, You will revive me;
You will stretch out Your hand
Against the wrath of my enemies,
And Your right hand will save me.
8 The LORD will perfect that which concerns me;
Your mercy, O LORD, endures forever;
Do not forsake the works of Your hands.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
My 3rd trimester had started...
All weight gain is on our baby who is about 1kg+ right now. Steady growth~
All glory and praise to God!!!
My gynae even mentioned that this sort of the weight gain is the PERFECT weight gain! Gain on the baby and not the mommy. Praise God! Praise Jesus! It's because He made all things perfect which concerns me....
8 The LORD will perfect that which concerns me;
Your mercy, O LORD, endures forever;
Do not forsake the works of Your hands.
We made a spontaneous trip to Ikea last night. After all the clothes bought and the hand-me-downs...I realised that what I've originally bought for bb stuff storage will not be enough.
This was what I bought (also from Ikea) but the cons is that the entrance isn't elastic...so the tendency to wear and tear and crumple is very high...also what goes in, will be very hard to come out...so how?Bo bian lor...we went down again...and bought the followings:

We will shift out our bed side table to the spare room and place this beside instead. Felt good. Another thing off my chest. I don't want my baby to wear crumpled clothes. My mom made sure my clothes were neat and tidy...and I will make sure of the same thing for my baby!
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Ben Stein on CBS Sunday Morning Commentary
My confession:
I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees, Christmas trees. I don't feel threatened. I don't feel discriminated against. That's what they are, Christmas trees.
It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, 'Merry Christmas' to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu . If people want a creche, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.
I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from, that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat.
Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship celebrities and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him? I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where these celebrities came from and where the America we knew went to.
In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking.
Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her 'How could God let something like this happen?' (regarding Hurricane Katrina).. Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said, 'I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?'
In light of recent events.... Terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found a few years ago) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK. Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school.... The Bible says thou shalt not kill; thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.
Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave, because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he's talking about. And we said okay.
Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves.
Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with 'WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.'
Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says. Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing. Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace..
Are you laughing yet?
Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it.
Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us.
Pass it on if you think it has merit.
If not, then just discard it.... No one will know you did. But, if you discard this thought process, don't sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is in.
My Best Regards, Honestly and respectfully,
Ben Stein
Monday, November 23, 2009
As Jesus is...so are we!
As Jesus is, so is my baby!
As Jesus is lovable, so is my baby!
As Jesus is beautiful, so is my baby!
As Jesus is gorgeous, so is my baby!
As Jesus is kind, so is my baby!
As Jesus is wise, so is my baby!
As Jesus is whole, so is my baby!
AMEN!!!
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Preaching at every turn
If you ask me...I think they just want the 功劳 to bring someone to the faith. Why not they just go out into the streets and talk to strangers? But I was super upset when they said that only if I chant then my baby will be beautiful. Ta Ma De...they mocking the work of God...and I don't see any good examples around them leh... -_-
Then I have to spend next weekend alone with them because my husband will be in Bintan and also during the period when he is in Japan. This stupid religious trip is even more costlier than I imagined...and my FIL is going TWICE! Too rich lah...no place to spend his money...to ppl who think Christianity is only about the 10% tithe that matters...try joining them then you will know what it feels like...dumping money into the sea...and worse...you HAVE TO CHANT! Or NO BLESSINGS FOR YOU!!! CHANT OR ELSE TO HELL WITH YA!!!
If they bug me during the period when my husband is away, I am going to ask my uncle or cousins to fetch me and I will pack my stuffs and stay at my mom's place. They can just try...
And its no use talking to my husband cos he's shutting off for the time being. He's taking a ...you don't interfere with my religious stand, I don't interfere with yours...fine fine...the truth will soon come to light...
While I was fighting with all these thoughts in my head...God asked me..."What are you doing, Ranna?" I told God I felt angry and worried and scared...what if they dragged my baby to their temple? What if...what if...
His reply satisfy me..."...Be still. And know that I am God."
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Wishlist: Jumperoo




I want I want I want!!!
I am sooooo tempted to get the pink one but then black is like the smarter option...YET...I like red also! RAD RAD RAD!!!
Shopping for my babies chase away the hormones blues~
Silly thoughts have been filling my mind. But I plead Christ's favor over all of my situation and I felt God's face shine upon me. He will not let what is mine to be taken away from me. He will perfect that which concerns me. But the greatest act of love is when He sent His son to die for me...rescued me, redeemed me, restored me...now I am free to enjoy my Daddy's blessings...
不用怕,Jesus在大厅
Something Extra!
By Linda Josef, Ph.D.
When the obstetrician told Dr. Gary Hill and his wife Marie that their unborn child would be severely brain damaged, they refused to accept it. They believed God would heal their unborn baby, but they knew they would have to find the faith to do something out of the ordinary to get a miracle.
Here’s what they did.
MORE THAN HALF OUR BABY’S BRAIN WAS MISSING!
In the late fall of 1992, Dr. Gary Hill was an emergency medicine physician in Edmonton, Alberta in western Canada. His wife, Marie, was within a few weeks of delivering their fourth child. They were happy, expectant parents. That is, until they were suddenly plunged into a life or death battle for the survival of their unborn baby.
Marie describes how the storm blew up:“I was expecting my fourth child. That day, I had gone to have an ultrasound, because at eight months, the baby still was not moving around, and seemed unusually small. However, I did not really suspect that anything serious was wrong with the baby. You can imagine the feeling I had when they looked worried and wanted to do a second ultrasound. At the end of the second ultrasound, the doctor took a deep breath and started struggling for words.
Finally he said, ‘Well, your baby has eyes, a nose and a mouth…’
"I saw that the doctor had a very grave and sad expression on his face. He was saying that the baby had eyes and a mouth. What didn’t my baby have? I suddenly felt terrified. I could not take any more anxiety and knew that I had to get out of there and get home. Although I was probably too upset to be driving, I raced home to talk to Gary. I told him to call the obstetrician right away because something terrible seemed to be wrong with the baby.”
Gary wasted no time getting in touch with the doctor. He said, “Although I knew something was wrong, my worst fears did not prepare me for the shock I received when I got to his office and the doctor silently handed me my baby’s ultrasound image. By looking at the ultrasound image, I could see immediately that more than half of my baby’s brain was missing.”
ABORTION WAS NOT AN OPTION
“The doctor explained it to me as kindly as he could, saying, “I’m so sorry, Gary. Your baby has had an intrauterine stroke. The entire left hemisphere of her brain is gone. All that is left is a large cyst filled with fluid and some stray bits of tissue. She will probably die at birth. If she lives, she will be severely retarded and paralyzed on one side of her body. She will be unable to talk and will have a seizure disorder. One side of her body will not grow normally. He was pronouncing a death sentence on my unborn child!”
Gary continues: “I was shocked and stunned. I asked a few more medical questions, but inwardly I was reeling. I could see the results of the ultrasound for myself, but I couldn’t believe what I was seeing, or even comprehend what the doctor was saying at first.“I just sat there in his office, staring at the ultrasound, trying to make sense of what was happening. Then the obstetrician raised the issue of terminating the pregnancy!
I knew he was trying to be kind in making this offer, but it made me really angry. I stared and him for a moment and then said, “Doctor, I am a Christian. I do not believe in abortion.”
GOD WILL GET ME OUT OF THIS…SOMEHOW
“Although I did not believe in abortion, I was a medical doctor. I knew that the personal consequences of bringing such a damaged child into the world would be intense. I also knew that there was absolutely no medical answer for my baby’s problem. There was no power on earth that could give my daughter a new brain.“As I sat there in silence with the obstetrician, not sure of what to say next, something rose up inside of me. I looked straight at him.
Then I said, ‘There has to be an answer. My God has never let me down. He will get me out of this somehow.’ With that I stood up and left the office and started the drive home.
THERE IS A GOD AND YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO SEEK HIM!
“I dreaded facing Marie with this horrible information. When I finally saw her, I said, ‘Marie, I realize you don’t want to know the details, but it’s bad. Really bad.’ I went upstairs to my room to be alone and try to compose myself. As soon as I closed the door I fell to my knees and cried out to God, in the deepest pain I had ever experienced.“At that moment I felt totally devastated and overwhelmed. As I collected myself, however, it became really, really clear to me that I needed a miracle, and the only hope we had for one of those was in God.
I said to myself, ‘Listen buster, you have to get hold of yourself. There is a God and you are supposed to seek him. He will help you. Your daughter’s life depends on it. You are going to do this.I spoke out loud to God and said, “The scriptures teach that you are a strong tower and a fortress, an ever present help in time of need. O God, fulfill your promise. This is my time of need.”
I KNEW I WOULD HAVE TO DO SOMETHING EXTRA
“I knew this was such a serious situation that half-way measures wouldn’t work. I got my faith originally from the Bible, from reading about God and what He does. I knew that the people who had been healed by Jesus often did more than the ordinary. They did something extra."For example, there were people who pulled the tiles off the roof of a house so they could lower a paralyzed guy down to Jesus to be healed.
The power of God was there that day to heal everyone, but this guy was the only one who was recorded as being healed. He did something extra; his faith is what got him healed.Faith like that was needed to save my daughter. If I had to rip the roof off of a house to get to the Lord for healing, I would do it. I knew that I had to spend one-hundred percent of my time seeking God if I were going to save her life. There was so much at stake that I decided to leave my job as an Emergency Department physician and spend all of my waking hours on this battle.
WE LEARNED THAT FACTS AND TRUTH ARE TWO DIFFERENT THINGS
“Marie and I began an intense search for God’s plan to save our daughter’s life. We read the Bible day and night. We read books and listened to audio tapes about healing, trying to learn whatever we could. One teacher in particular talked about speaking Bible verses into bad situations. He taught the importance of recognizing the difference between the negative facts that might confront us and the eternal truth of God’s promises. He taught that outcomes were influenced by which one a person chose to believe and talk about. In fact, he was teaching the words spoken by the Messiah:“For verily I say unto you, That whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith. Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them."
Mark 11:23-24“We pulled ourselves together and determined to stand on God’s word and not be afraid. We determined that if we had to stand for 6 trillion years and tell the devil that our baby was healed, then that’s what we would do.”
WE SPOKE GOD’S PROMISES 400 TIMES A DAY!
Gary and Marie went through the Bible and wrote down every verse they could find that promised healthy children. They made a list of all these verses, and read them all six times a day. Each morning, noon and evening they would read each scripture verse one time as it was written, and then say out loud what the personal meaning of that verse was.Gary later said that the impact of spending so much time thinking about the Word of God was life changing for him. One Scripture in particular referred to a prophecy about the Messiah from the book of Isaiah. It said,“He was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquity and the chastisement of our peace was upon Him. By His stripes we are healed.” 1 Peter 2:24
Gary said, “When Marie and I read that particular verse it seemed to jump off the page and to come alive inside us. We knew it was for us to apply in our situation. We decided to speak that verse over our situation intensively. We quoted that verse, and said ‘By His stripes, our baby is healed,’ four hundred times a day. Gary remembers using his son’s abacus, moving the beads of the ancient counting machine, one at a time, so he could make sure to keep his focus.
IS THE WORD OF GOD TRUE OR IS IT NOT?
Gary said, “It may not sound difficult to focus so intensively on God’s Word, but it is. For one thing, you get tired. For another, part of you wants to give in and quit, and just accept whatever happens. A seductive voice seemed to call to me to quit trying.
Over and over it said, ‘Just give up. You can’t do this. You don’t know anybody who has ever done this. It won’t work.’ This voice played on my doubts and fears as if it were trying to weaken me.“The worst moments were when I would wake up in the middle of the night and recall the image of my daughter’s destroyed brain on the ultrasound. I would hear the words ‘severely retarded’, ‘paralyzed’ and ‘seizure disorder’ pronounced by the obstetrician. I would imagine the difficult life my daughter would have if she were born so severely handicapped, and wonder how my family would cope with such a situation. I would find my thoughts wandering to cases of Christians who had confessed healing scriptures then died anyway, and I worried about the lack of any progress.
“Being alone with thoughts such as these at 4:00 in the morning, I was forced to wrestle for my daughter’s life with my own deepest fears and doubts. What I found at the bottom of all these thoughts was a basic question. Is the Word of God true or isn’t it?
WHAT ABOUT THE EXPERIENCES OF OTHERS?
I realized I couldn’t explain the experiences of other people. The only hope my daughter had was if I believed the Word of God just as it is written, and to accept it for my situation. I just determined to believe the Bible over every other thing my mind could throw at me.”"Managing and controlling my thoughts was probably one of the most important things I had to do. In a way it was like a crowd of demons I had to fight through to get to Jesus. I had to fight to hold on to my belief. My belief didn’t just happen.
Another thing that was important was to stay away from anyone who didn’t have faith for healing. I didn’t even tell most of the people I knew. I felt their sympathy and their unbelief would be a drain on my own faith”
A CLOUD CAME INTO MY ROOM AND FORCED ME TO THE FLOOR
Gary had determined to worship God for at least two hours at the end of each day. “It was important that I take time out from thinking about my own problems to just worship God for the greatness and glory that is His. It was intensely comforting to do this. To feel the anxiety and fear lifting as I worshipped God was nothing short of awesome.”
One night he was about to put in a videotape of praise music, when he felt that he should just stand and focus on his gratitude for what God was doing for his unborn child. Gary said, “At first I was just worshipping and thanking God, as I usually did each day. Then, a presence seemed to come into the room with me. The sense of presence increased and became a crushing pressure. The weight of the pressure began to increase and forced me to the floor. I was unable to stand. I looked up, and a cloud seemed to be filling the room and blocked out the lights. At first, I felt terrified, and I tried to crawl away and out of the room.
Then, I said to myself, ‘You idiot! This is what you have been praying for!’ The presence was God and I knew that I had better stay put.
I REALIZED THAT THE TIME HAD FINALLY COME
“The same thing happened the next night. I started to worship God, and again an overwhelming sense of pressure and of weight came upon me. This time I recalled a dream I had had some months before, in which a man brought his son to me for healing at the hospital. The boy was schizophrenic and had a brain tumor. I remembered that in the dream, I had laid my hand on the boy’s head and he was instantly healed. I realized that God was prophetically telling me to go lay my hand on my baby for healing, and that the appointed time had come!”Gary went to find Marie so he could pray for the baby. At about the same time, Gary’s sister-in-law, who was 2,000 miles away, woke from sleep with a strong urge to pray for Gary and Marie. She got out of her bed at 2:00 in the morning and started praying.
Meanwhile, Marie had been stirred by an impulse to be with Gary that she couldn’t explain. She was ready to get into bed and go to sleep when she just felt like she should go see Gary. As she walked toward the room he was in for prayer, she spoke quietly to God and said, “Lord, whatever you have for me, I accept. I surrender my entire life to you. I know it will be okay. ” She just wanted God to help her trust Him.
A SURGE OF PURE LOVE KNOCKED ME TO MY KNEES!
Gary and Marie met in the hallway of their home. Marie describes what happened next: “After a few words, Gary laid his hand on my tummy and prayed and at first, nothing happened. Gary refused to accept this disappointment and tried to pray again, and still nothing happened. Finally on the third time, he laid his other hand on top of my head, and this time, a surge of power came out of his hands and went into the baby and me.”
Gary said, “As soon as I put my hand on Marie’s head, I felt a surge of pure love that physically knocked me to the ground on my knees, overwhelmingly aware of God’s awesome holiness. I spoke to God and said, ‘Lord, You are so infinitely and absolutely pure. I am not worthy of your presence.’ I forgot about everything except this awesome presence for a long time.”Marie said, “I don’t remember too much about what happened, but I remember that when Gary touched my head, I was shot through with a profound feeling of warmth. I felt so completely loved and comforted, like nothing I had ever before experienced. The feeling of God’s love for me was overwhelming. I dropped to the ground, but was not hurt at all. The next thing I knew, Gary and I were looking at each other. Then we realized that the baby was kicking and moving around, and we knew that we had our miracle. Our baby was safe.”
THE BIRTH OF HEALTHY BABY CAROLYN
Gary suggested getting proof with an additional ultrasound, but Marie had had enough of ultrasounds. Marie knew that God heals gradually as well as by means of sudden miracles. If God was going to heal the baby gradually, that wouldn’t show on the ultrasound. What was important to her was to believe Him. They decided to trust God to the very end, and just wait for a healthy baby to be born to them.
Gary said, “The devil did not give up. Our minds continued to be attacked by doubts. This time it took the form of ‘Did that really happen? Did we imagine it? Were we both hallucinating?’ So we did not give up our commitment to daily speak God’s promises until our perfect little daughter, Carolyn, was brought forth.“Complete testing was performed both at the time of her birth and some months later. The testing showed no disability of any kind.” Photographs on page x show a picture of Carolyn at birth and as a young, healthy child.Today, the little girl of this story is more than 11 years old. Her name is Carolyn, and she is beautiful as her picture shows. She plays soccer, has a lot of friends, and is in the top 3% of her class at school. Gary has returned to work as a physician, and Marie has her hands full raising their family.
They give their testimony gladly, and many people have been helped by hearing what God did for them because they trusted Him.
WHAT YOU CAN DO
1. Study the miracles written about in the Bible. Notice what extra thing each person did just before Jesus healed him or her.
2. Understand the difference between facts and eternal truth, and determine to trust God’s Word above anything that your mind can throw at you.
3. Realize that the devil does not want you to win, and will use your mind and your weaknesses to defeat you if he can.
4. Find scripture verses that express the need you are bringing before God.
5. Repeat God’s promises to your self many times a day. Write down important promises and meditate on them, but be sure to speak them out loud. If you know others who understand what you are doing, talk about these promises and what they mean to you.
6. Don’t allow your need to become more important that your friendship with God. Make sure to take time every day to worship God, experiencing His presence as best you can.
The Bible says, “Be still and know that I am God.” He is present within you.
Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright ©1979, 1980, 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Tuesday, November 03, 2009
Exalted, You Will Ever Be Exalted
You are worthy of honor and praise
Adore You, I will ever stand before You
To worship and praise You all my days
New Creation Church - You Are The God Who Loves
Saviour of the undeserving
You have beckoned me with love
You designed all heaven's glory
Yet You came, restored my worth
Majesty stripped of all honour
Man of sorrows on that tree
The God who fashioned nature's wonders
Yet You stooped to rescue me
This is love, spoken through Your brokenness
This is grace - crowning me with righteousness
You are the God who loves
You are the God who gives
Salvation, favour,
victory as I stand and see
You are the God I love
You are the God I give
All honour, glory,
adoration for eternity
Sunday, November 01, 2009
Celebrating week 23 tomorrow~
I am down with slight flu...and when I am sick, even my hair looks dull! Despite shampoo and conditioner earlier this morning.
Probably because I was busy yesterday, I didn't feel much movement from Apple yesterday. I was alarmed...and today...even less. I have to ask my hubby to help coax some movements out of her after lunch at around 2pm (which is the time she is usually quite active when I am in the office). She gave us a few half-hearted kicks and then finally a strong one! Strong enough to get us off her back that is...
Apple and I had developed this "count-to-ten" game recently. She will give me 10 kicks and I will count. Sometimes I have to coax them out of her...but today, as I lay drowsily on the bed from the doc's medicines, I can feel her 10 distinctive kicks. Awwee...mommy is too tired to play with her and she was entertaining herself...(my own wistful thoughts that is...)
She's too young to know...or is she? There's a lot of research going on about the fetus in womb...but I tell you...God's creation can only be perfect!
Ephesians 1:3
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ,







